Burger Mountain, Edgeworth!
by Suzuriin
Summary: We found a map, to Burger Mountain! Burger Mountain, Edgeworth!”, “Yeah, Edgeworth, we’re going to Burger Mountain!”. Parodyfic for the Kink Meme, based on the flash 'Charlie the Unicorn'.


Moar Kink Meme crackfic :3 I'm pretty aware that Phoenix is kinda OOC, but hey, it's for the lulz!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, flash or prompt to go with this. I just wrote it for the greater lulz

* * *

"Hey, Edgeworth! Hey Edgeworth, wake up!"

"Yeah Edgeworth, you silly sleepy head! Wake up!"

Prosecutor Edgeworth jumped in his chair, sleepily looking up at his goofily grinning friends.

"Uhn" Edgeworth groaned before he fully regained consciousness "What is it, you two? This must be important; I was reading an important file for a case I'm running next week" he said, inconspicuously wiping of the drool trailing down his chin. Miles Edgeworth? Finding a report boring? Never!

"Yes, it is important!" Maya exclaimed, clapping her hands together "We found a map, to Burger Mountain! Burger Mountain, Edgeworth!"

"Yeah, Edgeworth, we're going to Burger Mountain!" Phoenix exclaimed, not looking quiet as enthusiastic as Maya "Come with us, Edgeworth!"

"Yeah Edgeworth, it'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure, Edgeworth!" Maya exclaimed, cutting across Phoenix. Edgeworth just raised a sleepy eyebrow.

"Burger Mountain? I'm sorry, but I'll have to decline; this report is important and…"

"Nooooo! Edgeworth!" Maya exclaimed grabbing Edgeworth's cravat and pulling it "You _have_ to come with us to Burger Mountain!"

"Yeah, Edgeworth! It's Burger Mountain!" Phoenix said, still grinning like a goofball "It's a land of grease and joy, and joyness!"

"Please stop pulling on my cravat, and fix your gram…"

"Burger Mountain, Edgeworth!"

"Yeah, Burger Mountain!"

"Fine, I'll come with you to Burger Mountain!"

* * *

As they walked along a deserted forest path, Maya had managed to get Phoenix into singing the Steel Samurai theme with her; which always managed to be Edgeworth's least favourite aspect of the show.

"Could you two stop singing that ridiculous song, already?" he asked, walking a few paces behind the pair.

"Our first stop is over there, Edgeworth!" Maya exclaimed, running into a clearing. The colour dropped from Edgeworth's face when he caught up to the enthusiastic duo.

"Oh god, what is that?" he asked, staring at a large, green and yellow reptile.

"It's a Liopleurodon, Edgeworth!" Phoenix exclaimed, staring at the beast.

"A _magical_ Liopleurodon!" Maya corrected.

"And it's going to guide our way to Burger Mountain!" Phoenix continued. Edgeworth could only sigh.

"You do know that there's no possible way that Burger Mountain could exist, right? There's no geographical records or anything…"

"Shun the non believer!" Phoenix exclaimed.

"Shuuun!"

"Shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaauuuuun-a!"

"…"

At that moment, the _magical_ Liopleurodon broke the silence and started to speak. If it could be called speaking. Edgeworth had to wonder whether the creature was actually Gourdy.

"It's spoken!"

"It's told us the waaaaay!"

"It didn't say anything!" Edgeworth exclaimed as he watched the two walked past the _magical_ Liopleurodon "It's entirely impossible that a Liopleurodon could exist, anyway!"

* * *

"It's just over this bridge, Edgeworth!" Phoenix said, making his way across the rickety old bridge.

"…This magical bridge, of hope and wonder!"

"Is anyone else getting splinters in their hands?" Edgeworth asked, eyeing the crevice below him with caution "I really don't think we should be on this bridge…"

"Edgeworth! Eeeedgewooooorth! Eeeeeeeeeedgewoooooooorth! Eeeeeedge…"

"I'm right behind you Maya, what do you want?!"

"We're on a bridge, Edgeworth!"

* * *

"We're heeere!"

"Well, imagine that, there actually is a Burger Mountain" Edgeworth said, trying to hide his amazement of the fact that Maya and Phoenix were right.

"Burger Mountain Burger Mountain you fill me with sweet greasy goodness!" Maya sang, flying around the clearing.

"Go inside the Burger Mountain Burger Cave, Edgeworth!"

"Yeah Edgeworth, go inside the cave! Magical wonders will behold when you enter!"

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to decline…I do have that report back in my office to read…"

"But you have to enter the Burger Mountain Burger Cave, Edgeworth!"

Suddenly, a musical number started up, and all the letters 'Burger' from the 'Burger Mountain' sign sprang to life, with the 'R' taking the lead in singing. Edgeworth was quite baffled.

"Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right up to the Burger Mountain cave! When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land! Such a happy and joyful and perky, merry land! They've got cheeseburgers and fishburgers and greasy things, oh so many things that will brighten up your day! It's impossible to wear a frown in burger town, it's the Mecca of love and hamburgers! They've got veggieburgers and porkburgers and little buns, deep fried pattys, tofu pattys, it's a wonderland of grease! Buy the burger train to town and hear the burger band! Burger bells, it's a treat as they march across the land! Burger ribbons stream across the sky and to the ground, turn around, it astounds! It's a dancing burger treat! And the hamburger's imagination runs so free! So please, Edgeworth won't you go into the cave?"

And in an instant they disappeared in a puff of red smoke, leaving Edgeworth almost speechless.

"Alright! I'll go into the Burger Cave!" Edgeworth said, swiftly making his way into the cave "I hope this is important!"

"Hahahahahahaha!" Edgeworth heard the two laugh as he entered "Goodbye Edgeworth!"

"Yeah, goodbye Edgeworth!"

"Goodbye? What is thi- Hey? What's happening? Why have you closed the entrance off?" Edgeworth exclaimed, before hearing footsteps running up to him "Hello? Who is that?"

* * *

"Uhn, what happened?" Edgeworth groaned, sitting up in his office chair. Somehow, someone had rescued him and taken him back to the office. He looked around, and saw that his pocket had been torn and hastily sewn back together.

"They stole my Limited edition, autographed Pink Princess figurine!"


End file.
